ADHD Is a Serious Disorder. Here’s what it feels like to me…

I have ADHD and despite what many people think, it's a very serious disorder. 

For many ADHDers it's difficult to describe what they're going through to people who don't have it. Often, even the people who love us most have no idea how challenging it is and in an effort to help us, actually hurt us.

One of the ways ADHD is challenging is the inability to initiate and follow through with tasks that you both need and want to do. 

To observers this may look like a simple lack of motivation or laziness but it's a literal inability that requires unique solutions (ahem…not neurotypical solutions).

Here's an entry from my personal journal that describes what ADHD feels like to me and what it's felt like to find hope again after years of defeat.

"It’s a unique form of torture to have the intellect, creativity, and know-how to accomplish things and help yourself but be prevented from doing so by your own brain and body.

It’s like a carrot constantly being dangled in front of you and knowing that all you have to do is reach out and grab it but your arms won’t move, they’re stuck at your sides. You try as hard as possible to move them but they won’t budge.

And all society sees is that you’re an intelligent person so you must be choosing not to move your arms. Society and even the people who love you most, keep saying, “Come on, all you have to do is move your arms. Do it like me. See! I can move my arms so you can too. It’s easy.”

So, year after year you keep trying over and over to move your arms like everyone else does and it still doesn’t work. Over time you start to believe at a very deep level that there’s something wrong with you and that you’ll never have the life you want.

So, you live in chronic overwhelm, trying to keep your head above water, and give up on ever tasting the carrot.

Until one day, someone says, “Hey, maybe you can’t move your arms but have you ever considered using your feet or asking someone else to bring the carrot closer to you? Have you ever considered looking for the all the carrots that are lying in the ground ready to be plucked up with your toes?

Your reply to this person is, “I didn’t even know those were options, no one’s ever taught me about other ways to get what I want.”

The person says back to you, “I’m sorry you weren’t told sooner and I won’t lie to you, you’ll still have challenges because your arms won’t move and people won’t understand. But, remember, the only person that needs to understand is you. Perhaps it would be a good idea to rebel against the teachings that are harming you and do things your way.”

All of a sudden you have hope again. You see the truth in what this person has said, and though you’re not yet sure what your next step is, you see that a step is available.

Life with your arms stuck to your sides remains difficult and you experience ups and downs, but you’re learning ways to live differently and finding the courage to do it in spite of what others think and do.

That’s what it’s like having ADHD (and other things that come along with it), having your arms stuck at your side when the use of your arms is what you need most."

Feelings of defeat and overwhelm are still frequent visitors in my life but their stay with me is much shorter than it used to be because I've started to do things my way, and when I see the progress and results that has given me, hope and confidence come calling more and more often.

Friends, when I listen to my clients, family members, friends, and even strangers who have ADHD, my heart aches with empathy but also longs to share what I've learned. I sincerely want to offer hope to as many people as possible.

Having a life coach is what first guided me to a place of hope. It gave me the awareness and confidence to do things my way instead of what I thought was the “right” way. 

I'd like to do my part in helping you with that. I'm currently working on a digital course for women with ADHD and would love to have your input.

In an effort to make the digital course as useful as possible, I've created a survey for women with ADHD (or who suspect they have it) that you can take and share. You have the option to remain anonymous and your answers are extremely helpful in shaping this course. 

You can access the survey by clicking HERE. 

(This survey may no longer be available or applicable at the time you read this blog post.)

At the time of this blog entry, I'm also still accepting one-on-one clients. If you'd like to learn more, you can book a free consult call by clicking HERE

If at the time you read this blog post, any links aren’t current or you have any questions, please send an email to jody@jodylong.com and you will receive help.

So much love to you!

Jody